False Sense of (Homeland) Security

So I finally stopped at the Post office today on my way home from work to drop off the Christmas cards I've been carrying around with me for the past week. It was a pretty uneventful trip until i noticed something that just made me feel ashamed to be a member of the human race.
First off, when you walk through the front door, there is a bank of metal detectors. Now, normally when there are metal detectors, there is at least one person telling you to empty your pockets, place your bags on the table and so on. Well, at the Post office, there isn't. The other thing I've noticed about metal detectors is that when someone walks through them with copious amounts of metal on their person, such as a pocket full of change, a belt buckle, a box cutter and a backpack containing 3 metal coat hangers, a couple of chargers and a laptop like I did today, they tend to make an obnoxious beeping noise. These did nothing of the sort.

Thus, I can come to only one conclusion based on the facts stated above, and that is that these metal detectors are not even turned on, if they are even hooked up to any sort of power at all. Americans Being Americans, however, will not care about this. As long as thee security devices themselves are in place and obviously noticeable, it matters not whether they function properly, because we all know that metal detectors make us safe.
Special thanks to the American media, the Department of Homeland Security and President George W. Bush. I couldn't make this stuff up, but you guys make it a reality.